Last Post to Al

Ali,

Hope you had a good rest. If you get this message it must be just before you leave for Pune, New Dehli, Zurich and home! I'm praying for a safe, smooth and healthy trip home! The last email to the intercessors from me has gone out. Be sure to rest up lots on the plane, if you can, I will try to keep you up for as long as I can when you arrive home...to help you adjust to Toronto time. So, try to rest up, okay? I really want to go to Mother Tucker's when you come back. Ray & Junko will be there as well as myself. My parents will be at grandma's house packing up her apartment. I can't wait to see you, my love! My darling love who I cherish and adore. I am so uberly proud of you! You are amazing! I am also so thankful to God who has kept us safe, taught us invaluable lessons and ministered in awesome ways!! Yeah!!!

See you soon!:)

Kitten

Jo Loves Al

Hi, Al!! I'm done venting! How are you? You are probably sleeping or waking up to your last full day in India. How does it feel to be leaving India? Are you glad to be coming home? I miss you like CRAZY!!!! Like CRAZY!!!! Arg!! I can't take it.

Yesterday, the picture of us fell behind my computer and I couldn't find it. It kind of fell on an angle so it was really hard to see. I accused Stephen H. (of course, who else?!) of taking it! People felt really sorry for me...I thought I was going to cry. It was very sad. But, I found it and it's okay now! I had to apologize to him though.

Al, I don't want to overwhelm you but there are a few social events going on that I haven't rsvp'ed to. Sharon, my coworker's b-day party, next Friday, Beth & Chris's mission fundraising event at the end of March, Kathy's swing dance party, not to mention her next cookie batch to order...we'll have to decide together when you get back!

Well, I'm super tired. I've been going to bed real late. I end up blogging longer than I plan on doing. I've been feeling much better, very regular...just tired. I haven't been as tired as I was on Monday but still tired. I don't think I'm pregnant. I think I've just been going to bed later than usual. I was very cranky today...very cranky. I don't think I've been that cranky in a very long time. Please come home!! I need huggies! It must be an Al huggie shortage!!! My love meter is quite low.

I guess it's just hard with you gone and now my mom & I not talking. I feel so overwhelmed, angry, lonely and horrible. I feel horrible about myself. I feel down. I wish you were here. You make everything better. At least it seems that way when you hug me. I can't wait till you come back...two and a half days.

No surprises when you get back. Sorry. Everything is pretty much the way you left it.

I promised I'd let the kids write a bit. (Eeyore) - I love you, Daddy! I'm taking care of LB and JJ. Bye. (LB) - Hi, Daddy!! When are you coming back? I miss you. I don't know where you are. Mommy says you're far away so far you need to take a plane. I can't see you every day. I miss you. I love you. (JJ) - Come back soon, okay?!

I love you! Have a good day!

More venting

Hello, Al! I emailed you a couple of times this morning but one of the emails bounced back to me from your account. I'm not sure which one it was.

Anyway, I'm feeling better today. I am glad that I stood up for myself but I regret using such harsh words towards my mom in yesterday's blog. Oh another thing she did...Just before she went into the washroom, I asked her to keep the door shut because the hamster was out in her ball. In all fairness, I may not have been that clear. But you can imagine my shock when after they left, I realize the door was left open by my mom and my hamster was probably in that room roaming around. And she tries to tell me that she does listen to me. I told her she doesn't listen to me and she kept insisting, "I do listen!!!" (That was just before she asked me if the picture of Colin & Jessica was of my friend Krista.) I need my space and I think she should respect that. I'm not ready to talk to her yet. She has to respect that I need my space from her...I'm not in an emotional state where I can handle more of her rudeness. Am I a bad daughter and doing something bad? I know she would want to make me feel like one. But, I just don't want any of her guilt trips or her trying to appease her conscience without really looking at the issue. I don't want to be taken for a ride and be invalidated or manipulated. I deserve better than that and I need to create my own boundaries. This is what feels safe to me, not out of rejection, bitterness or vengence but out of my needs, what I can handle and what I actually require to process, adjust and create a safe place for me. I can't talk to her now. I am not going to feel bad about treating myself with respect. I am not going to feel bad about not disrespecting myself and invalidating myself just to appease HER conscience. If she really loved me, she would understand and want me to respect myself, my opinions and my needs.

It's so strange because I know that my mother-in-law presented with the same situation would have acted so completely different. She would have looked at the picture, commented on it, asked about our relationship to the people in the picture and really reflected deeply into the relationship & picture. By so doing, she would find out the most interesting things about our friends. And then, the next time we talked with her, she would probably ask, "How is Colin, Jessica & Fiona?" So polar opposite of each other!! Part of me wishes I grew up in Al's family...but then I couldn't marry Al and it would be weird...that thought only goes so far before I realize it wouldn't work. But, I know I wouldn't have had the emotional problems and scars that I have had to bear if I grew up in Al's family.

One thing issue that runs in my parents' family is disrespect. My dad doesn't respect my mom and vice versa. My mom doesn't respect me or my brother. There just doesn't seem to be a lot of respect at all in my family. It's devestating. It would be almost better if they just fought & worked on it OR separated. Not live in such a constant toxic environment pretending everything is fine while they actually resent each other! They made a decision when I was young to stay together for us. But, honestly, I don't think they did us much of a favour by staying together. I don't think they handled their marriage well nor the raising of us. I just don't think they're able to really handle life.

Post 101

This is my 101st post on blogger! Yeah!!

It's 9:47 pm and I'm so tired, yet upset. My mom is so frustrating me!! She is so disrespectful and rude to me. She doesn't listen to me. She talks over me and interupts me while I'm talking. She doesn't really seem to care about me at all. She said she'd be at my house by 6:30 at the latest, well she called at 6:30 to say she'd be picking up the food and she showed up at 7pm. Well, I wish she just didn't come over!! I'm feeling extremely tired, exhausted, nauseous and sick. She comes in and just starts talking away about her life, her concerns and her thoughts. I tell her I'm tired and she just keeps talking about her life. No one helps me unpack the food as I feel like I'm going to faint. Then, as we eat, again she only seems interested in herself. When I talk, she interupts me and starts talking about something totally different than what I'm saying. I feel like I have to fight to just finish my sentences and be heard. For example, I showed her a picture of Colin, Jessica and their baby (Fiona...I think my mom was talking as I was trying to tell her the name of the baby). I said, "This is a picture of Colin, one of Al's friends, his wife and their baby ...(Fiona...my mom talks over me)". Then, about 1/2 hour later, she points to the same picture, in the same place and says, "Oh is that your friend, Krista?" She is just not interested in my life. I'm the one at home without my husband and feeling completely sick and she doesn't even care!! I repeatedly tell her, I don't need digestive enzymes, but she still keeps giving them to me. I don't need them. That's not my problem and I've told her that!!!! But, she doesn't seem to care. She is the most rude, selfish, self-absorbed person I know!! She doesn't seem to care what I'm going through. Her actions are so invalidating...she shows up late, talks over me, doesn't listen to what I have to say, doesn't respect my opinions and just wants to talk about her thoughts. She really does interupt me...like all night. It would have been better if I stayed home alone and cooked being sick rather than have her over and be rude to me. No one deserves to be treated that way. She has to look at how she treats me and others. She has to take a really hard look at her actions and her rudeness. I won't put up with it. I guess I just expected a mom who would care about me and want to take care of me. But, I was expecting too much. First, she didn't seem to care that I was feeling tired and sick...she didn't comment on it or say anything...she just kept going with her speel about her life. I hate the way she makes me feel about myself. It makes me feel so horrible about who I am as a person. It makes me feel like I'm nothing. I would rather never talk to her again, ever, than have her treat me so disrespectfully. If she can't treat me well, then I'd rather not be around her. No one else treats me like that and I don't treat others like that...why does my mom treat me so badly? I hate her. I wish she wasn't my mother. I wish she never had me. I wish she wasn't around me. I wish that I wasn't her daughter. I wish I had a nice mom who actually cared about me, thought about me before herself and respected me. I guess that's asking too much. Why can't I just admit it...my mom is a very selfish person and she will never really care for me the way that most moms would care for their daughters. She is too self absorbed to care about my life, my needs, my wants, my hopes and who I am. She is too busy putting me down to really see who I am. I hate my mom. I wish she wasn't my mom. I don't want to talk to her. She wants to call me or email me tomorrow. But, I really don't want to talk to her at all. I wish I could disown her.

Jo loves Al, part 8

I LOVE YOU!! Sorry, I didn't email back quicker to you! Monday morning after being away 2 business days is not really my best time to do personal emails. But, I read them all and I'm so glad that you emailed me!!

I gotta be quick 'cause my parents are coming over with Chinese food. I offered to make them dinner but they ended up offering to get take out. I'm so relieved because I was feeling really tired this afternoon. I don't think I packed enough food today. I am going to let them take care of me.

How are you feeling? Please keep me updated!

I'm still really not myself yet. I feel pretty good stomach wise except I'm feeling a bit nauseous...probably due to tiredness. I tried to go to bed early but I couldn't sleep. I think the decaff tea actually has some caffeine in it. It usually keeps me up. Anyway, I'm tired today.

Well, gotta go clear a space for all of us to eat, put the laundry in and wash some dishes so we have cups to drink from.

I'll chat with you soon. I love you soooo much!! You're my bear!! My bear!! My furry bear!!! I will try to email you when you're back on email and it can be like instant messanger...I'll take it as my break/lunch time.

Anyway, gotta go. I love you!

See you in 5 days (or just under 5 days)!!

Jo

Al, Part 7

Allan,

Thanks for your email and email to the intercessors. This gives a much clearer idea of how to pray for you and the team. I'm sorry to hear about Mary's ex-husband. Will she be leaving early or will she miss the funeral?

You know what...I was rarely encouraged by Sunday overseas. I found it difficult to get the whole message through a translator and it was usually boring. But, it is sad to hear that the message was unbiblical. I guess there's a need for more theological training and libraries in that area. That is also an area of prayer that we can pray about when you come back.

Well, it's Sunday night now and you must have arrived in Lonavala. (I think it's spelt Lonavala.) Anyway, I hope that your accomodations are clean, comfortable and cool. I have been praying for you and for refreshment.

One image that comes to mind is that of red paint being poured out all over you. I've been praying that you and the whole team, as well as the attendees, will be covered in the LOVE of GOD. Covered in a way that stays and lingers like paint after it's poured over you. I've been praying for the Holy Spirit to brood and hover over you. I'm praying for comfort and healing for Mary and the "epiknowsis" knowledge of God's strength and presence for her children.

One song comes to mind that you'll remember from Youth Group days...The Battle Belongs to the Lord.

"The Battle Belongs To The Lord
Jamie Owens-Collins

In heavenly armor we'll enter the land
The battle belongs to the Lord
No weapon that's fashioned against us shall stand
The battle belongs to the Lord

We sing glory and honor
Power and strength to the Lord
(repeat)

The power of darkness comes in like a flood
The battle belongs to the Lord
He's raised up a standard, the power of His blood
The battle belongs to the Lord

When your enemy presses in hard do not fear
The battle belongs to the Lord
Take courage my friend, your redemption is near
The battle belongs to the Lord

Copyright © 1984 Fairhill Music, Inc."

I believe that is you guys...although you have faced battles on this trip thus far, you are covered in His armour and will enter the land. The battle is God's, not yours. Rest assured that God has heard your pleadings and will rescue you. He will fight for you. Take courage, He is with you.

Thanks for praying for me. I feel refreshed today and renewed by God's Holy Spirit. Here is a great prayer that I've been praying almost every day that helps me: http://www.evanwiggs.com/revival/prinpray/warfare.html Praying it may also help you.

Take care. All my love.

In Christ,

Jo

Al, part 6

Dear Al,

I miss you. You're my bear and I miss my bear. I look forward to seeing you in 7 days. Your time in India is now just past the half way point. The kids miss you too. LB was upset because I had to leave him here while at the retreat. I don't know if he's forgiven me yet. I didn't want Stephen H. to take him as a joke so I thought it'd be safer if he stayed here. He is quite upset and he's also been very clingy, today. I'm sure he'll be back to his usual bouncy self soon.

Ottawa Sens are winning against Toronto, now, 2-0. It's the 2nd period and your team is doing very well.

I feel a bit lonely today. I have to stay home because I need to recover but that also means I couldn't have dinner with Ray & Junko. I didn't do all the chores I wanted to as I opted to rest. The house may be messy when you come back.

I'm sorry I couldn't pray as much as I wanted to during the retreat as we didn't have much free time and the schedule was jammed pack. I hope things still went well, despite the oppression at the one orphanage. Please send me specific prayer requests as I'm finding it difficult to pray since I've come back from the retreat. I'm not sure if you cc'ed the report to Eugene to me but I didn't receive it. I also didn't receive an email specifically to the intercessors that you said you'd send, so I just cut & paste the stuff you sent me in your emails. I did tell Minnie and my parents that you'd be sending an email to the intercessors specifically. They were really excited about this. I don't know if you tried to send it and it didn't get received? I'm not sure if you remember promising to send these two items but I'm really disappointed that I didn't receive either of them. Please clearly label this email to the intercessors in the subject line and in the opening address so I don't mistake it for a personal email. I will forward the entire email to all of your intercessors. If you don't have access to the internet now, just let me know and I'll tell Minnie & my parents that you'll update them once you're back.

2-1 for Ottawa.

Anyway, I'm tired and I'm going to go now. I'll talk to you later.

Jo Loves Al, part 5

Dear Al,

Thanks for your emails and prayers!! I'm glad to hear that you had a good sleep on Thursday night. I can't believe you prayed for about 80 people at the clinic on Thursday!!! Hope you had a good night off!!

The retreat was good, but exhausting. Thank you so much for praying!! On Thursday I woke up at 5:45 a.m. and got to work at 7:35 a.m. Then, we left work just before 8 a.m. to go to the retreat centre. Then, when we arrived at the retreat, it seemed we went right into a 1 HR long session of Brian S. talking! It was good but long and stories that I already knew about. Then, there we had a great lunch but maybe I had too many dairy products or my body was just too exhausted because I ended up not feeling well about 45 mins to 1 hr into the 2nd session. I just felt so exhausted and sick. I stepped out near the end to use the washroom. Then, we were able to finally check into our rooms. I had diaherra and I napped during the 3rd session of the day!!! Then, I woke up feeling a better but still sick. I had to lead the games and the games went really well. People really enjoyed them. I just toughed it out. Then, I went to someone's room afterwards and played pictionary until about 10:15 p.m. Some people stayed up and played Nintendo Wee system until 1:30 a.m. or talking with their roommate. But, I needed to sleep and recover so I went to bed at 10:30 p.m. I woke up around 6 a.m. hoping to use the business centre to check my emails but the centre wasn't open. So, I just did devotions, prayed for you guys and chatted with Albert about Staff Council. I ended up confusing the breakfast start time because I left my folder with the agenda in the session room. So, I woke up an extra 1/2 hour early. Anyway, we had breakfast and Dr. Sherbino spoke about taking a Sabbath (Stop Day) once a week. I really appreciated it. We had communion. We ate lunch and left. Praise God though because I was fine on the drive up and back. I took an immodium after breakfast and I am fine. I was so blessed when I came back to Tyndale and realized you were praying for my stomach! Thank you!

When I got back, I played Texas Hold'Em poker in Josh's room with Kevin. It was so fun!! I was ok but on my last turn, I took Josh down a lot of chips! It was fun! Then, I had to register the phone bill under my name before I could pay it! So, while I was at Laureleaf, I ended up getting Subway for dinner and two movies. I bought Top Secret and Wayne's World. I went back to work and tried to work a bit (cause I promised Phil I would). Mostly I talked to the telecounsellors who were there! Then, I went shopping for snack. Although I felt so exhausted, I wanted to bring snacks, see people and report on you.

So, I went to small group and shared how you were doing. They were encouraged. Minnie had a print out of the prayer updates and Ryung loves receiving them! We talked about what we wanted to do next in small group. Ideas that we'll be doing...studying a book of the Bible (Minnie will look for a book), painting class, possibly making a banner together, trying to do a non-churchy group thing e.g. freedomize/meeting house/renaissance church outreach, taking a verse(s) home for the week to reflect on and share the following week for praise and potluck. (Of course potluck!) Carrie's back from her travels and considering a possible career change in the distant future. JD is leaving for Cheese place (sorry, I forget the state) on MONDAY!! He wasn't there. So, it's back to our old group again! Sonia and Hyungju will join when they can make it. Apparently Hyungju has been suffering with a medical issue (Minnie forgot the name but thought it was fibromyalga. I know for sure Soonil has fibromyalga so I'm not sure if she has it, too, or something similar.) Anyway, so we prayed for Hyungju, JD, Carrie, YOU and I at the end. George was there, but playing with Mercy the whole time. Mercy was quite involved in her play with George. It was cute.

Anyway, so I'm home now and going to rest. Ray & Junko invited me for dinner tomorrow, but I think it'll be too much for me. I'm still not 100% and I think I just need lots of rest. I'm waking up at 5:30 a.m. when your alarm usually goes off. It's strange.

Anwyay, I'm really exhausted. I'm going to go to bed.

I really love you. I will pray for you more tomorrow!! Tomorrow, will be ONE week since you left and there will only be ONE more week to go. It sounds so life changing what you're experiencing and I'm so excited to hear all your stories in more detail. I so love you. I do miss you a lot! I will definitely save lots of cuddles for you!! I'm storing them up! It was nice because at the retreat, Beth R. gave me hugs (and possibly others?) and Carrie gave me a hug tonight. Ryung wants to go for dinner next week. I just feel like God is really watching out for me and protecting me. I feel safe at night now. And I think the stress I felt was all mental stress and anxiety of not being able to do your role well. You know you are the responsible time keeper, schedule manager of the house? Well, I definitely miss someone around to remind me of daylight savings, when it's time to leave to be somewhere on time...to keep me focused on the tasks at hand. So, I think I'm doing well but not as good as you are at it.

Anyway, I'm feeling kind of ....blah....yucky...I need to go to bed. I love you so much Al!!! I hope I get a chance to hear from you in Lanavlla!! I guess I will just have to see.

Take care!!! I love you!! And yes, a queen size bed is for two plus the "kids".

Love,

Cuddle Bunny

Al, Part 4

Al,

Thank you for your email and prayers! I really love receiving your updates. It's so encouraging for me to receive them! Thank you for praying for me. Although it was a short sleep, I have felt rested all day. I'm glad to have a night at home so I can catch up on chores and get ready for the retreat.

Oh yeah, there's no internet connection unless I pay at the retreat centre. I leave at 7 AM tomorrow and won't come back until Friday afternoon (Saturday while you sleep). When I come back from the retreat on Friday afternoon, I will check my emails before I go to small group. Please keep emailing because I do want to hear from you and I'll get it very shortly.

Kevin is driving Sharon and I to the retreat centre from work. I'll be emceeing the games on Thursday. If you remember, please pray for peace for me as I embark on an unknown place and driving for a 1 1/2 hour trip (hopefully that or shorter). Please pray for good digestion and against clausterphobia and panic attacks as I sit in meetings and drive there/back. And please pray that I get to and back from Barrie as well as small group safely.

How is the food? Any specific prayer requests besides the sleep?

I have definitely been praying for you! Peter B. (lawyer/producer guy) said he was praying for you so I added him to your prayer list. Usually, I feel prompted to pray for another specific team member while I pray for you. So, I'm also praying for the team in a round-about way. This verse is what I'm claiming for you, "'And these signs will follow those who believe. In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.'" Mark 16:17-18 It's not just words in the Bible that Jesus spoke, but it's a lifestyle into which you were born. Paraphrased 'In Jesus's name, Allan will cast out demons, speak in new tongues. Allan will take up serpents, if he drinks/eats anything deadly, it will be no means hurt him; Allan will lay hands on the sick and they will recover.' I also see you sleeping in armour. I pray that it stays on you all the time, even as you sleep at night!

Have a really great next couple of days! I will, too! We will touch base in less than 48 hours. OH, and another thing...if you get a chance, please email a prayer letter to me addressed to your intercessors. I will forward your update to them. They may appreciate hearing from you directly regarding your updates, praise & prayer items. I have been quoting you, but they'll get a better sense of how things are going by experiencing your stories firsthand. I've been hesistant to forward the emails or large portions of the emails to them because they're interlaced with personal stuff (Which I love!!) Just a thought if you have time. If you don't, don't worry about it at all!!

Anyway, I hope we can have contact when you're in Lanavlla. I know someone who was in YWAM but at another mission training centre in South America, I think, and she rarely was able to use to the internet. Anyway, I hope I can still contact you next week. It would be good to still touch base through email and this blog. Either way, I will keep you in my prayers.

You're the best husband ever!!! I am so lucky and blessed to be married to you!!! You are so wonderful, Allan! I remember all the wonderful things I love about you and why I married you! I am soooo in love with you. I can't wait to see you when you get back.

I'm feeling much better, today, so I think I've recovered now. (HOPEFULLY!) So, I don't see any problems in meeting you at the airport. Looking forward to that reunion. The weather forcast says it will be a balmy 0 degrees!;) Hey, that's balmy compared to the temperatures we're experiencing now. I can't complain though because I just didn't want to drive through flurries. It should be okay driving for this week and next week!! Only Saturday night may be yucky driving conditions but I won't have to go anywhere.

For your entertainment since I'll be gone two days....

5 Things I've Learned while Al is away...

5. The definition of "helper" as used in Hebrews 13:6 is from the Greek word Boe "A cry for help" and theo "to run". Boehos is one who comes running when we cry for help. The Lord describes the Lord as poised and ready to rush to the relief of His oppressed children when they shout for His assistance. (Spirit-filled Life Bible, page 1889)

4. LB still gives good cuddles.

3. I can do all the housework and chores on my own.

2. Rice can be left in the fridge for at least 5-7 days (when did we last make rice?) and still be good.

1. A queen size bed is meant for one.

Hee! Hee! Some humour in there for you! I do miss you!!

Love you lots and lots,

Jo

Al, part 3

Al,

Not going to be a long post. It's 10:03 p.m. I very recently got back from dinner with Junko, Auntie Rose, Mom, Dad & Ray. We arrived at 7 p.m. (the time set) and we didn't get seated until close to 8 p.m. By that time, I'm totally exhausted and I didn't eat much at all. I started to feel better as I ate some chicken alfredo and got a second wind. Anyway, by the time the cake had come and the gifts were exchanged, it was just after 9 p.m. Even though they were still having tea, I left. And I just got back around 9:45 pm plus I had to take care of the pets. Anyway, I'm TOTALLY exhausted. I had ginerale for my stomach so I hope I can sleep well.

Anyway, I am going to bed now, if I can sleep.

Love you. I'll write more when I can. It may be a busy morning as we're expecting 2-4 cm of snow overnight & 2 cm tomorrow morning so I don't know what the commute will be like.

I'm SOOOO TIRED and WRETCHEDLY exhausted! I'll try to pray for you before I go to bed.

Al, part 2

Well, Monday....I'm feeling better, but not 100%. I did get through the day without any problem, though! Sarala (spelling?) your coworker sent me a really encouraging email and wished me well on my health. It was such a blessing! She's really awesome!

I had a good session with Crystal tonight. It was productive and we talked about the critic. It was a reminder of what Dr. Quek taught me with a new twist. So, I will be thinking about how to deal with the critic and what works for me. It will definitely help me during these next two weeks!

Not to make you jealous but if I'm feeling well enough, I'm going to Frankie Tomattos for Junko's b-day. I'll pay for the phone bill and maybe pick up Tim Horton's coffee for us. I've been enjoying tea in the morning instead of coffee. It's quite good and much gentler on my stomach.

Remember how I was sick on the day you left? Well, I took 2 immodiums and I've been kind of stopped up. I just had a small bm tonight but not like normal. I've been eating a well balanced diet...except I didn't have salad tonight. I really should have...I kind of ran out of time and didn't feel like eating it. Anyway, I had an apple and maybe I'll have salad for breakfast?! Anyway, so I hope I get more regular soon.

In other news...your parents, my parents and Ray & Junko emailed me after I sent out the report. They were really encouraged. We were really praying that you would have a safe journey in and for good connections for work! It was encouraging that you already found a connection for work! Praise God!

I will keep praying for you. If you have the specific agenda for the week, like if you know what days you'll be doing what things, let me know! If not, don't worry because the Lord will let me know what you need prayer for. I just thought it would be helpful. I can email that out to the crew and it will help us focus our prayers. Like, I'll remember ....oh, you're doing this now ...so pray for this... 'Cause I think of you all the time and wonder what you're doing. I think about you sleeping while it's night time. I think about how cute you are when you sleep. When it's day time, I think about your laugh....you're "I think this is funny or what I said makes me kind of laugh...or we all need to lighten up now so I will laugh..." laugh. It's kind of a two breath, high pitch kind of laugh with dimples and wrinkles. I picture you doing that lots while you're there.

Hey, have Rob & Mary arrived?

I checked the weather online and it seems really HOT there!! Wow! 32C and sunny! Nice! It's snowed while I was driving home and it has been REALLY cold. It was really windy.

Toronto news...Police shut down the gardiner today and areas around the CN Tower. Ice is falling off of the tower. Even another part of downtown was shut down because a building had ice falling off from it. The TTC will be expanding to York U and up north to the 905 area. That's kind of it.

I really miss you! I really love you!!! You're so amazing!!! I hope you have a great, fantastic, wonderful day, honey! I really am so proud of you!! I just hope you'll give any orphans you see a real big hug from me!! It really breaks my heart to think that there are so many children without parents...that makes giving you up for 2 weeks so much easier. It would seem so selfish of me to want you here when there are so many there without any parental love. Please do give them hugs for me! I will pray for them. If you learn any names that really touch your heart, let me know. I will pray for them specifically...even when you come back, we'll keep praying for them.

Anyway, gotta go...it's time for early bedtime routine. Gotta pray for you guys and get to bed early, tonight.

Remember that I love you so very much! I will see you soon. I'm not counting days because it's too discouraging...rather I know in my heart that we are still together in purpose and love.

Yours always,

Jo

Hotmail issues

Dear Ali,

I love you! In case you're up early in the morning, I don't want you to think I have forgotten about you! I sent an email to all the intercessors based on your email at lunch today. Your email was sent back to me by hotmail. I guess there are some issues with your account or the address I used, although I double checked and I'm sure it's correct. Anyway, I told people they could email you there a quick encouragement, but you may not be receiving them.

Anywho...I will write more in a few minutes. I just want to publish this first thought in case you only have a few minutes before you have to be somewhere.

If you're around for longer, check back in about 20-40 mins.

Love you lots,

Jo

Al's Time

Notes to Al, part 1

Hi, Al. I hope you're well. You're on the plane, now. I thought I'd write to you, in case you check soon.

I sent a prayer email off to all your intercessors and gave them your itinerary.

I'm sorry I couldn't see you off at the airport. I rested for about 1/2 hour and then drove back home. I was fine driving. But, I felt sick when I stopped driving and got home. Junko must be better because Ray & Junko went to Auntie Rose's. My stomach is still feeling topsy turvy. I called Rob to tell him I wouldn't be going to Acts. I tried to watch the end of the movie but it got stuck at scene 22 - Dustin Hofman & Will Farrell are talking about how unavoidable his death is. I cleaned the DVD and restarted it several times. It is not playing even scene 23, now! I may try it on the laptop tomorrow before I return it.

Anyway, I'm not feeling lonely...it is only day 1 or day 0. I guess that's why. I think I'm more nervous that I'm going to forget something important like feeding the fish or Junko's birthday or paying a bill. I wrote out an agenda so I don't forget something important that you usually take care of. I just wish I felt better physically. It's such a bummer! I'm going to stay home and rest tomorrow. I think I have this fear deep down inside that I'm incapable of being an independent adult. It's kind of scary being out on your own. I haven't been a very nurturing person to myself in the past, so I need to learn how to take good care of myself in the next two weeks.

I think I was feeling a bit anxious for you, too. I get all butterflies when I think of you in India and all the important stuff you'll be doing there. I just think of how I'll be away from you and how you'll be experiencing all these new things...and I get nervous for you. I'm nervous for me, too. Experiencing all these new things...the retreat, driving every day, living without you here. A lot of new things for both of us. We will have to rely on Jesus. He is always faithful.

If I lean on Him now does it mean that I'm using Him because I'm afraid and you're not here? Why don't I lean on Him first even when you're here? When you come back, Al, I want our marriage to be more Christ-centered. I want to trust and lean on Him more as a couple and I want to lean on Him more daily.

Anyway, I should go to sleep soon. I just want to say, "I LOVE YOU!" Kiss, hug, kiss, hug!! LB says, "Hi and he loves you, too!"

See you in 15 days from now!!! Have a great time! Enjoy!! Oh and be sure to take lots of pictures...of both people and landscape. The land looks absolutely breathtaking from what I saw on the internet! So, please be sure to capture the landscape as well as the people!!

Love you lots!!! You're in my thoughts & prayers! Love you so much!